in the past, i used to ponder - why some people just like being alone.
but now, as i grew older, i start to understand.
i was never alone in the past, going out with my friends now and then.
however, suddenly, sometimes i would prefer being alone. not because i was feeling down or that i have no friends to accompany me.
this holiday, i have stayed at home most of the time instead of going out almost daily like what i did. i rejected going out. it was not even like a holiday to me. it just doesn't feels like one.
i was supposed to go for my primary school gathering tomorrow which some of my good friends asked me to organise. but yet i didn't. perhaps it was because my parents rather me to stay at home, perhaps it was because my mother have been sick for a few weeks or perhaps i've to tutor my younger brother that made me rather stay at home.
not that i don't miss all of them, but i just. i don't know.
instead, i've chose to accompany cheryl to study tomorrow.

seems like that jap exam made me realised a lot. whether what will be the result on my cert which i'll receive in mar'10, i'm just gona go to the next level. JUST CHIONG. I'M NOT GIVING UP.

my darlings from 6D'06, i promise not to miss the next gathering. JUNE. hopefully we can have a chalet after our 'O'/'N' level papers next year. just the 10+ of us. I LOVE YOU GUYS.
i'm missing you all more already.

i'll book 1day to watch movie with teok and another day out to spca with peixian this holi, just like what i've promised.

AND. thank you jiaqing, cheryl, jahwee and some others for giving me your support this holi. LOVE YOU PPL.

I'M HAPPY.
I'M STRONG.
I'VE LET GO WHAT I SHOULD.

XINGHUI IS STRONG. XINGHUI IS HAPPY.
JIAQING, LET'S SUCCEED TOGETHER. WE CAN AND WE WILL DO IT.

三年的友谊，一起经过那么多，一起哭，一起笑，一起疯，说不珍惜是骗人的。
在这短短的日子里，说了彼此好多不好听的话。
我们的分离，不只同学看得出，连老师都开始问起你们了。
之前说的不想和好，是在欺骗自己，因为害怕会不会又再发生这种事，也不知道你们心里想着什么。
一声对不起，我们都不敢说出口，因为大家都有错，也因为以为可以不需要你们。
我们太低估“对不起”了，真的没想到说出来后会有那么有效。


子君，
我们这段日子都一直在一起，经过好多好多。
我们也领悟到了许多。
我们都错认她们的心里在想什么了，
原来她们也很珍惜我们之间的友谊。
你永远会是我亲爱的三三。

倩怡和家慧，
谢谢你们一直陪伴着我们，鼓励我们。
你们会一直是我的好朋友，也是我一直会信任的人。

子君，倩怡和家慧，
谢谢你们！如果没有你们，我想这段日子我不能撑过去了。
真的真的好爱你们，也好珍惜你们。


佳庆和佳琦
你们两个名有佳的最好给我听清楚！
我们最好不要有这样的事情再发生，有什么不爽就直接说吧！否则问题又会来了，我们的眼泪又会流不停了。
以为真的不需要你们时，却发现自己还怀念着我们一起经过的日子。
所梦到的梦，很多都是我们在一起的美好时光。
我们一定要回去我们以前那样，有说有笑。
不，应该说是比以前更好。

既然我们选择要把心里话都说出来，就一定要把所有的不满说出来。
过了这件事，我发现我更珍惜你们了。我不想再失去你们。我怕了你们了。
我真的真的好爱你们。
无论什么事，我们都能一起克服的。

也要谢谢庭维和khwanfa. =D

♥我们对彼此的约定会一直在我们的心里。

so much happened lately.
suddenly felt an urge to blog, so here i'm.
there are still tests coming up, despite the many tests occuring the past few weeks.

came to many decisions these days, realised so much.

~ i always thought that it was firm, with nothing in the world being able to destroy it.
it has been almost 3years, 3years of being together.
saying that i was nonchalant about what had happened would be fooling everybody, but on the other hand, what could i actually do? plead, cry or complain?
it was pointless.

anyway, gona continue being happy & study hard. that's all.

teachers' day coming up. i'm going back to YANGZHENG. =))

BYE~

suddenly felt like blogging so i'm here again! =D
before anything, i would like to wish shaojie a very happy birthday! [17'04'09] HOHOHO. continue to work hard and jiayou ba my dear.

i realised it has been a LONG time since i last posted. slacken a lot after ca1 and my results dropped. physics is the most pathetic one lor. 30people failed and i failed too. == ANYWAY, it's 12 more days to exams! so people, JIAYOU BA. i need people to tutor my physics. or my physics'never gona pass. idiot. then somemore mrs ismail can suddenly say test on chap10&11 today then next day test. win liao lor i tell you. can go crazy one leh like that.

3days ago it was our 2.4km run. ran with my dear tzuchun as usual. she has a bad stitch. poor thing. so we just encouraged each other during the run and i think we managed to improve. held our hands together to run at times since there was many times when we felt like stopping. 3years of 2.4. all running with her. i love you man my dear. HAHAHA.

and there's no more for me to post! my keyboard letter 'e' got plucked off by my younger brother and it's like so hard to type can. irritating. so byebye ba! 28more days to end of exam if i didn't remember wrongly. HOHO.

爷爷，有时候还是会想起您。您是否过的好？我很想念您。

HOHOHO~ felt like posting so here i am! =D
it's been so long~ since i last posted. almost 1month. == a big thank you to all who have been tagging la. at least make my blog seems less dead. =D

WELLWELLWELL, before anything, i'd like to wish SAMUEL TAN a very happy birthday[17'03'09], which is tomorrow since i won't be blogging tomorrow. he's 19 already. so old. =D HAHAHA. tomorrow going to ask about his A levels results. =P

it's holidays and i got back my CA1 results. 5As & 3Bs. the 3Bs are ENGLISH, PHYSICS & COMBINED SCIENCE. although my results still can be improved by a lot, but i'm generally satisfied with my overall results. it's so much better compared to the 2As i got last year and it got no Cs! =D

two days ago, got the family day at east coast. arrived bedok mrt with jiaqing, tzuchun, ghakhee, jiaying, cheryl & jahwee at around 8.30+. saw mr chan still there with the shuttle bus. so ran there. we were the only 7 in the bus apart from the bus driver la. so shuang la.
THEN, went to rent the bike and ride. it was the 1st time i rode a bike after learning on 31'12'08. felt so proud of myself that i've improved so much. =D but i still banged onto cheryl's bike. sorry la! HOHO.
after the family day, went to the paya lebar sing post there. drank and drank. so thirsty la. had a hard time finding the way out from east coast to bedok mrt. ==
went to city plaza and shopped when jiaqing&ghakhee left after awhile. so left tzuchun, jiaying & i. went to buy sunglasses and we wore it on the way. went to take the bus which we took the WRONG direction. but we were on the upper deck of the bus playing and taking photographs since there's no one else there. HAHAHA. clown.

tomorrow's chalet! had a hard time to persuade my mother to let me go. still have to appeal to her. HAHAHA.

and.. there's nothing more i can say, except- there's a lot of homework + projects to be done. the geo project don't know what to do la. asked so many people they also don't know. so forget it. not doing already.

THAT'S ALL! BYE~ wait for my next post! HAHAHAHAHA!

i want to know why. don't we used to be goodfriends? you would do anything to make me happy. but why? why all of a sudden you changed? was it because i did something wrong or was it because you simply want to ignore me cos of that? i don't understand.

here's my post after a long long time again! =D

before anything, i would like to wish my beloved papa a very happy birthday! =D

anyway, yeah. this will be my last post, at least for a few months. no mood, no time, no energy to blog or even come online. so many tests, so many homework. perhaps i would come back to blogging, who knows. yeah.

LALA! these few days have been practically busy. in school laughed with friends, at home study. feel so fun yet so boring. == don't know what am i talking either.

and hey. when a person is cheerful, it doesn't mean that he/she won't ever be upset. it's just that whether he/she chooses to show it or even bear any grudges. so yeah.

that's all for my post. BYEBYE!

when she told me about him, i felt upset. i asked myself questions which i don't get the answer. can anyone kindly come to me and tell me all the answers to my questions? impossible, but yeah. i feel upset. why is he like this? i want to know.

LALA! it's chinese new year!
somehow, i don't have the feeling that's new year! so sad. i've less than 5angpaos this year. but well, it's always better than none!


it has been like 15days since i last posted. not that long la actually. just have this urge to come online and post so here i am! =D


in these 15days.. there is the adventure camp? LOL. it WASN'T as fun as how i IMAGINED it to be. dragon boating, high elements, campfire, blahblah.
the food's okay. heard that the veggies didn't taste great. lucky i don't eat veggies. HOHO.
the bathing time is LITTLE and the tap only came out 3drips of water. okay, shall not complain. remember, it's always better than none.
the high elements were SCARY. when i'm up there, and looked down, it's as if my heart is POPPING OUT. HAHAHA. i only like the flying fox. the rest i never really tried. HAHA.
during all those mealtimes, me&tzuchun + commander ko will be there crapping and laughing. and then when i see luyao laughing, i cannot help but laugh too. she laugh till very funny & cute la can. HAHAHA.

then at night after we have bathed, blahblah, me, jiaqing, tzuchun, ghakhee & jiaying will go back to our dom[did i spell it correctly?] and eat the tidbits that we've bought from ntuc a few days back while chatting. but after awhile we will just lie down, thinking that we still can stay awake. but apparently, we fell asleep la hor. HAHA.
both nights i didn't sleep really comfortably because it's SO COLD. i was there freezing without any jackets and cos my sleeping bag was opened up and split into two to share with jiaqing, i cannot hide myself in the sleeping bag. sad.

anyway, for the campfire, i was sitting next to tzuchun & sebastian. i don't feel really high at all can. i'm trying to be high by dancing & singing away. but it didn't really help la hor. so in the end just sat there and laughed, chit-chat, crapped and stared into space. == even last year's orientation camp i enjoyed much more with shaojie and 1/4 people. shouted and jumped so much. HAHA. no offends though.


the 3rd day of the camp we were having our high elements again. i told myself that i MUST try. but, HAHA. in the end, i didn't. expected anyway. LALA.
after that, went to wash the girls' toilet. i'm so glad that there isn't any sanitary pads lying around. or i will go jumping up&down, shouting&screaming and then there's nothing i can do but to pick them up. LOL.
i tried to cheer myself up by singing "you're my sunshine" while washing, while sweeping, while picking up those hair. and i succeeded. HAHAHAHA.


after the camp, went to pizza hut with jiaqing, tzuchun, ghakhee & jiaying to eat. me, tzuchun & jiaying shared the 4person student set. ate till super full. it satisfied the hunger i've suffered from the past 2days in camp.
when i reached home, i slept for 5plus hours, from 3 to 8plus. LOL. i feel so much comfortable sleeping on my own cosy bed. =D


and my conclusion for the camp:
1) i learnt that toilet paper are precious.
2) i learnt that water is even more precious.
3) i learnt that taking care of your own things is even more important after losing my snoopy-playing-volleyball cup.
4) FINALLY! i learnt that my love for jiaqing, tzuchun, ghakhee & jiaying is even greater than how i imagined.
HAHA. i sound so disgusting. HAHAHA~


err.. then the rest of the 15days which i haven't been blogging, i simply cannot remember what really happened.
AHH! i remembered commander ko kept to the promise he made in the camp to the 5 of us. he brought the 1.5litres green tea for us on friday and we drank it all up. HAHA. thanks la! then something else happened on friday too. some unhappy stuffs. idiot. i feel like an idiot at that point of time.


anyway, today's zhihong's birthday! so happy birthday la hor! =D


then then, yesterday's the first day of new year. in the morning, went to the temple and pray to my grandpa. then in the afternoon, went to another temple and pray to another grandpa with my cousins, aunt, uncles, grandma. hai.
after praying, came home, bathed, went to grandma's house.
saw my baby cousins again. all of them looked so ADORABLE LA CAN! so small-sized, walking here & there making noise. HAHAHAHAHA.
after eating and stuffs, went into the room to play bridge with my biaoge, biaojie and elder brother. i was carrying my favourite baby cousin and was looking at the bracelet my grandma has bought for her.
so my aunt was like: 你看.xinghui jiejie 很喜欢你的手链leh. 要不要拿出来给她看？
my cousin: [trying to take out] then after that she shook her head and said, 不可以。
my aunt: 为什么不可以？
my cousin: 因为要key才可以打开
i laughed so much till my stomach hurts. so adorable can. so i was like carrying and hugging her and laughing.

and my biaojie is totally BLUR throughout the many rounds we played. until the last few rounds then she finally came to her senses. my biaoge crapped so much about my biaojie that i laughed till my mouth almost went numb. HAHAHAHA. and i think i'm the one who's the MOST MATURE AMONG THE FOUR OF US EVEN THOUGH I'M THE YOUNGEST AMONG THE FOUR! AGREED? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i'm so proud of myself man. =D
and right! i'm so happy to have my elder brother and biaojie. cos both of them study double humans + triple science, anything i don't know at home i'll ask my elder brother! then cos my biaojie studies the same humans as me, i can get her notes! and my brother helped me get the other subjects' notes from his friend since he already graduated from sec school. i'm so touched la! so thanks la! love the both of you. don't say i not grateful okay! =DD


WELL, today! i woke up at 10plus. did some homework, went to eat. then did more homework, then came to blog. the maths homework i really don't understand la. the standard form part is still okay. the rest of the indices ah. i do till i just felt like jumping down the building. but obviously i wasn't that stupid. or i woúldn't be here blogging. LOL.


afterwards! i will be going to the country club with my family! i'm still thinking whether my beloved biaoge & biaojie will be going or not. HAHA.

these few days have been planning what to do during the march holidays. i planned to go to spca again to visit the dogs & kittens since it's quite near to my house, planned to meet up with my primary school friends, planned to go cycling again cos í don't want to forget how to cycle since i just learnt how to. but holidays is like.. 6weeks away? == and i guess.. that's about it! HAHAHAHA~
BYEBYE! wait for my next post! LOVE! =D

my 330th post! =D
i salude anyone that have been constantly reading my blog. i doubt anyone who have done that cos i do not even have the mood to go through one post of mine. HAHAHA~

finally have been blogging again after some time.

well, something changed my mind about going to track training tomorrow again. YOU KNOW, I JUST DECIDED TO GO FOR TRAINING TOMORROW before this THING appear. OH MY GOD. feel so disappointed that i'm someone who gives up so easily. HOHO.

the feeling of returning to school is slackening. the first few days i have this feeling that holidays will be coming again. HOWEVER, after one week, i have awakened to this fact that i'll have to return to school for like.. don't know how long. sad.

i'm looking forward to the CAMP and the class play. felt that my new class was okay, MOST of the people there are friendly, and yeah, even though i still can't remember some of their faces and their names. the teachers are generally okay, except for the biology. i cannot understand a SINGLE thing she is talking about. OH MY GOD can. i'm doing self-study over the weekend, i hope.

anyway, O's results are out today! HOHO. so nervous for shaojie can. i kept smsing him and asking him about his results. i think he got irritated cos if i were him, i would be irritated as well. HAHAHAHAHA. i'm happy for my biaojie who got an A1 for her chinese. congratulated her and told her i love her. i'm confident that she will do well in her Os this year, very confident. and of course my dearest brother, to do well in his A levels and and and my dearest biaoge to go to the university since he completed his NS? i don't know leh. talk with him everytime crap with him, seldom talk about serious business, so i don't really know about him. HAHAHA.

hm hm hm. my parents have been caring about me more cos i have been coughing for a few days. HAHAHA. i don't mean that they don't care about me normally okay. LALA.

hm hm hm. what to talk about now? i don't know leh. forgot about what i want to say already. so i'm going off. it's 10:20 already. have to sleep soon. or my father will show me his face then i will laugh again. HAHA. byebye!

HELLO EVERYBODY, PULL YOUR EARS COS IT'S NEW YEAR! =D

hasn't been blogging for a long time and today it's because i have to check my council duties for tomorrow and have to be online. so yeah, í don't think i will be blogging much for this year because i'm really lazy to even switch on the laptop.

anyway, back from chalet this morning.

first day of chalet my father taught me how to cycle. i didn't succeed.
then after that, went back to chalet, bbq-ed, ate, played.
anyway, yeah. this is a family chalet which my parents booked. after watching the little nyonya, the rest left, leaving me, my brother, my biaoge, my biaojie and my aunt. we bathed and went to watch the midnight show. i was wearing my pyjamas pants and the council tee, with my name printed at the back. my brother was like telling me it's okay not to chang because a lot people will be wearing the way i'm wearing. then i was like, "okay, don't change."
when i reach the ehub there, everybody was dressed nicely can. so embarrasing. everytime these things happen to me. == HAHA. but i didn't mind.
planned to watch bedtime stories but tickets were sold out, so watched twilight instead. my aunt treated. and the show's okay la, quite nice.
went back to the chalet after the movie, brush teeth, went to bed. i slept with my aunt and my biaojie on the two single beds joined together. i was in the middle, and the gap between the two beds was irritating okay. so i slept on the same bed as my biaojie. HAHA.
my biaojie couldn't sleep. initially, i couldn't too la. but at around 3plus, 4, i slept. then my biaojie stayed awake. HAHA. poor thing.

the next morning, my biaojie woke all of us up. went for breakfast at burger king. my first breakfast at burger king. my aunt treated us for the breakfast and midnight movie la. so paiseh.

we went to wildwildwet on the 2nd day of chalet. i know i said i won't go there again. but we got four free tickets to wildwildwet ONLY. so we went. played played played. and my biaojie don't know how to swim! HAHAHA.

then then then, went back, waited for my another aunt to come then went to rent the bicycles for overnight. my aunt treated. LOL. so it's like this chalet i no need to spend.
went to ride bicycles for awhile. i started practising on my own and after awhile, i made it. i think i sprained my left ankle. cos when i put my weight on my right leg, my ankle hurts a lot. shall do some rubbing afterwards. HOHO. my fingers and palms hurt too, cos i held onto the handles too tightly. and my butt too. sat on the seat and walked wih my legs too much when my father taught me how to cycle. but anyway, i don't really know how to cycle well yet. hmm.
went back for bbq. after bbq, all of us sat down in front of the tv at the stairs/chairs because the tv is hung high up and there's not enough chairs. so, yeah.
after watching, rest left. leaving me, my brother, my cousins and my aunt. two different aunts accompanying us on two different nights. =D
went to ride the bicycles. at first i don't really know how to ride, then got scolded by my brother. i don't blame him la. if it's me, i will also do the same thing. HAHAHA.
after awhile, managed to cycle with my brother, cousins and aunt. hmm. they called me to ride at the front because they scared i won't be able to catch up with them. HAHAHA. so when i stopped, they have to stop. wanted to apologise and thank them for all the trouble but didn't really say to them because I DON'T KNOW HOW TO. so yeah, in the last hour of 2008, i managed to cycle. so happy for my achievement. i managed to reach this goal in 2008.

cycled till around 1am. went back to chalet, queued to bathe. was so tired that i laid my head on the table and slept till my biaojie passed me my cell phone saying that i have 7messages. LOL. was shocked la. didn't expect messages so i didn't carry my cell phone with me most of the time. HOHO.
after bathing, went back to the room, used my towel and brushed my hair to make it drier and crapped with my biaoge. this chalet crapped a lot with my cousins. it's cos they are crappy. =D
went to sleep after eveyone bathed, which's around 3, 3plus. and by the way, yeah, there's only one room. so all of us have to squeeze in one room. the guys slept on the mattresses on the floor, of course. =D all of us was so tired that no one remained awake at night. HAHA.

this morning, being woke up by my biaojie AGAIN. preparing to check out, packed our things, blah blah. parents came and fetch. went to white sands for breakfast, went home, and i slept from 12.24 till 4.55. LOL. tired.

and tomorrow, school's reopening. honestly hoping that holidays will never end. so that i can sleep, play and eat everyday. but well, sad. hope that i can reach school by 6.45 for the council thing tomorrow.

i've been thinking, if i hadn't let go of you that time, would you have been gone forever? i've been thinking, if i've been more decisive and bold, perhaps you would still be here. this 1year plus, i've been lying to myself. i thought that i've forgotten about you. but now, all is back to square 1. i've realised that i won't be able to forget you, at least for this present moment. but i've finally understood today why have i chose to let you go when i knew that our feelings for each other was real. it was not because that my feelings for you had faded, but it's because i really like you.

hmm. yesterday went out with siokteng, kahwen & zhangshuo to wildwildwet. thought that kahseng will be going. but in the end, he went missing. LOL.
zhangshuo treated us to one bottle of ice lemon tea and pizza hut. HOHO. generous.
at around 6, we left there. had kind of fun. me and teok was sitting on the floats while the guys pushed. didn't ask them to push. but well, GENTLEMEN la ok. ==
i was the only one who escaped with minor injuries. teok's toes the skin was peeled off, kahwen with a injured back cos i knocked onto him. HAHAHA. while zhangshuo's leg bleed. terrible okay. i see his cut like what like that. LOL.
my conclusions for wildwildwet: 1) the ground is too rough
2) the stairs is too much
3) i'm not going there anymore
yesterday, went for work for AWHILE yesterday. went to compass point with peixian, cut my hair, went to popular to buy notebook, went to the swensens to eat ice-cream. the student meal luh. =D
before that.. something happened. i was ANGRY, FURIOUS & AGITATED. feel like asking that person go and die. but i can't. cos his life doesn't belongs to me. then peixian cried. i lent her my shoulders and she cried terribly. broke up with her boyfriend la.. then i cried a little while she was crying cos she cried until so.. hai.
it was yesterday that i suddenly felt that relationships was somehow sweet, but more of vulnerable. made me kind of feel weary of these things. well, confusing.

then, went to vivo city with siokteng to buy notebook again. so in total, i have THREEnotebooks in total. one same as my BELOVED biaojie, one same as peixian, another same as teok. HAHAHA. anyway, my biaojie brought me a necklace when she came back from china for trainings! HOHO. while my elder brother brought me a adidas bag from japan. not really nice. HAHA. but yeah.. still use it. cos it was so expensive. then if don't use very wasted. HOHO.
so that's all!

* i'm looking forward to my chalet! can meet my beloved cousins! =D that's all! BYEBYE!